Duty And Honour: Lost Memories
by TheEvilDog
Summary: A companion piece tying into my main story Duty and Honour, detailing parts of Aedan Cousland's past and personality before and during the Blight. Basically, it's a bunch of random drabble. Rated M
1. Chapter 1

Lost Memories

_Whats this? Aedan...kissing Morrigan... And it's not Duty And Honour? What madness is this! Actually, this is a companion piece I will be doing, along with Duty and Honour. Basically, it will be a series of short pieces, delving into Aedan's past and his relationship with characters before and during the events of Origins. Most of the pieces will hopefully add to his character and how people view him, but unfortunately, due to the nature of Duty and Honour, didn't quite fit in with the story, so they'll end up here. These will not be in order, as they are memories and we all know that memories are anything but linear._

_Anyway, enough from me, enjoy!_

The scent of Lake Calanhad filled the air as the companions travelled towards Kinloch Hold. With the help of the Dalish and the Dwarves secured, the Grey Wardens turned their attention to the Circle of Magi for aid. Shale and Sten led the party, the pair discussed the nature of honour, Alistair, Leliana, Zevran and Oghren trailing behind them while Morrigan and Beast stayed separate from the group. Aedan guarded the rear, carrying the group's provisions for the day.

Looking back, Zevran slowed his pace so he could talk to Morrigan. Beast stared at the Elf inquisitively, the Mabari unsure of the assassin. "Has anyone ever told you what marvellous eyes you possess, my dear?"

Groaning, Morrigan tried to ignore the Elf, instead trying to focus on the road ahead before finally answering. "Again with the flattery? Do you not tire from these pointless exercises?"

Immediately on the defensive, Zevran looked shocked at the accusation. "Oh, now I am hurt my dear Witch of the Wilds." Circling her, Zevran held his arms out, as if to be open with Morrigan. "In Antiva, women are accustomed to being showered with the praise they deserve. Men should throw themselves to the ground and worship you at your feet as you pass."

Leaning her head against her staff, Morrigan again tried to ignore the Elf, spoke softly now. "And they don't find that incredibly annoying?"

"They are goddesses receiving their subjects, just as you should be. Whatever would be annoying about that?"

Brushing past the assassin, the mage turned back, almost catching Aedan's eye. "I have no wish to be placed upon a pedestal."

"But you deserve no less! You should be admired by painters, copied by sculptors, exalted by poets! Surely you know that yours is a beauty so exotic it-it would turn the eye of the Maker Himself!"

Utterly surprised and speechless as Zevran strolled by Morrigan managed to splutter a "Well, I suppose I…." before Alistair and Leliana burst out laughing.

"By the Maker! Enough, you win!" It was all Alistair could do to wipe a tear from his eye as he laughed

Leliana steadied herself on the Templar as she giggled. "You are indeed a master, Zevran, you win the contest fair and square."

"Hpmh. Fine, I owe you a flagon you pointy eared bastard." Oghren emptied the mead sack, and reached for the small flask tied to his waist.

Bowing to the others, Zevran accepted their platitudes, turning to each in turn. "Ah thank you, Alistair, I believe you owe me five silvers as we agreed. You can pay me when you the time. Oghren, I expect the good stuff from you. And my dear Leliana, I told you I could do it."

Behind them, Morrigan gritted her teeth, her fists clenched, lightning arcing from her hands. "I….hate….you….all!"

Aedan shook his head, and walked towards to the Witch, tapping her on the shoulder. "Morrigan, may I have a word with you?"

"What is it Aed…" Before she could finish, Aedan had taken her head in his hands and kissed her, long and hard, and one by one, the companions fell silent, their mouths agape as they realised the kiss was real and passionate.

Satisfied, Aedan parted his lips and whispered in Morrigan's ear. "Zev was right about one thing, you are beautiful. So don't let them get to you."

"Come on. We can set up camp for the night before we make the last part of the journey to the Circle." As he passed Alistair, Aedan tapped his fellow Grey Warden on the back of the head. "Alistair, shut your mouth, you're going to catch flies."


	2. Chapter 2

The heavy oaken door opened to the study, the light of several candles glowed in the spacious room, casting shadows in several directions. As he entered the room, Aedan saw his father was facing away from him, studying one of the many books in his personal library. Unsure that Bryce had heard him, Aedan was about to announce himself when his father spoke, his tone unusually firm. "Sit down, Aedan. Now."

The younger man obeyed the order, and sat, staring at the large writing table, and noticed the volumes strewn across the leather covering of the table, _Of the Noble Families of Ferelden, History of the Teyrns of Ferelden, Of the Legends of Highever. _It had been several years since he had last sat at this table and Aedan knew what was going to happen next. Bryce would look like he had been studying the family history, only to tell his son off for whatever deed he had done this time.

Bryce slammed the book back into it's place on the shelf, before sitting down at the table, staring his younger son in the eyes. "I will give you one chance to explain yourself Aedan. So, tell me, why is it you've only been home for five months now and Vaughn Kendells ended up with a broken nose?"

Aedan sighed and scratched behind his ear. "I heard that some of the farmers were having difficulty with a tree stump in the eastern fields, so I went to help them remove it. I'm guessing that was when Vaughn was travelling from…wherever it is morons like him visit, and he saw Old Coran's granddaughter. You know the stories about him right? What a sadistic little bastard he is?"

Bryce cut him off. "I don't care for rumours, Aedan. Just tell me what happened!"

"Sorry, Well, he was about to rough her up. And possibly more." Aedan paused, trying to remember what exactly had happened next. "I saw what he was trying to do, and so I went over and punched him. Hard. He went down, and blood was gushing from his nose. His guards were about to attack when some our soldiers nearby stopped them. The guards picked him up, put him back in that carriage and left."

"You were not sent to Nevarra just so you could fight when you felt the need for it!"

The younger man shot up from the chair, knocking it to the ground. Planting both hands on the desk, Aedan looked his father directly in the eyes. "No. You sent me there so I could learn how to defend our home! That means the people who live in the town, not just this castle Father."

Aedan turned and picked up the discarded chair and straightened it before sitting down. Neither men spoke for a time, instead both were deep in thought, trying to figure out what to do next.

Bryce broke the silence. "The Landsmeet is next month, what am I supposed to say when Arl Urien asks me why his son's nose is broken?"

"Tell him that Vaughn shouldn't have attacked my fist with his face."

It was enough. His father chuckled to himself before reaching for the earthen bottle hidden in the desk and poured the fiery liquid into two cups. "Pup, where did you get that smart mouth?"

Aedan took the offered cup and sipped the contents. It burned his throat, but it felt good. "Well, I think I got the smart mouth, the chin and the green eyes from you. And I'm sure I got that stubborn streak and the hair from Mother's side. The ears too, as well as the nose, the charm… Do you want me to go on?"

"Ah, pup, I missed this when you were gone. Answer for everything, whetting your tongue instead of your mind. Drove your mother and I crazy." He downed the whiskey and swallowed. "And then it was too quiet around here."

"Don't worry, my mind is sharp enough as it is" Aedan had reached for the bottle and poured some more for himself and Bryce. "…..And I missed you too, Father."


	3. Chapter 3

"You know your dog nearly bit a chunk from my hand earlier." Alistair sounded almost hurt as he held the flask to his lips and took a draught of the ale before passing it back to Aedan.

"I know, you got near his food again, didn't you? I keep telling you Alistair, don't. do. that. Beast probably could rip your hand off. Isn't that right boy?" The Mabari raised his head at the sound of hearing his name being called, barking in agreement with his master before going back to sleep by the campfire. "I mean, come on, if Oghren can learn that on his first night in camp, then surely you can too."

"Ah, but you forget, Oghren tried to put a saddle on Beast. I swear, I'm still laughing at the sight of the Dwarf chasing him, and managing to trip over every obstacle in camp." Aedan started to giggle as he realised his friend was beginning to slur his words, especially as this was the first flask. "Speaking of, I wonder how he and Zev are doing on watch duty?"

Aedan looked back at the pair, the assassin furiously pointing at Oghren's greaves, apparently insisting that the Dwarf was still wearing his pants. Aedan uncorked the flask and drank the warm ale. "They're alright, Oghren is just missing his pants, you know, the usual."

"Oh, is that all?….. Aedan, remind me again why we let him tag along…."

"Portable axe wielding dwarven lunatic we can throw at the enemy and be relatively safe." Aedan paused, staring at the flask, before holding it up for Alistair to see. "That, and all the free alcohol."

"Fair enough. But it does raise the question about how he makes it."

"I don't know, I don't care, and I'm not going to ask, are you?" Aedan handed the flask back to Alistair. He smiled to himself, at the fact that despite all he lost, Aedan was glad he had met the Templar, who had been a true friend so far, almost like a brother. Granted, the two acted like idiots at times, but it helped to keep themselves sane after the events at Ostagar and the Tower of Ishal.

"Speaking of lunacy, what's with you and Morrigan? I mean, come on, are you two actually….?"

Aedan's eyebrow arched as he heard the question. "And what happens between Morrigan and myself concerns you how?"

"The woman is a complete and utter bitch! How can you even stand her, let alone be in the same tent as her?" By now Alistair had believed his arm was pointing towards the sleeping Witch of the Wilds, only to be aimed at Shale.

"Again, I ask, why does this concern you?" Aedan threw his hand up his friend. "Actually…wait…I can't believe I'm having to justify who I have sex with to a guy who referred to it as "licking a lamppost". Seriously, how old are you?

"Old enough to know you are insane for being with her." Alistair's body began to sway from the ale.

Realising his friend was getting drunk and fast, Aedan took the flask from him. "Ok, that's it. No more ale for you."

"Oh come on…. Give it back…..Your being mean. This is Templar training all over again."

Alistair lunged at Aedan, drunkenly missing his fellow Warden by at least a foot, crashing down into the ground. As he looked at his friend, Aedan gave him a little kick, making sure he wasn't hurt. "You alright Alistair?"

"….Yeah….I'm going to stay here for the night. Could you please leave the flask behind?"

The sound of someone running drew Aedan's attention from Alistair. Wynne had been woken from her sleep by the crash, concern furrowing her brow as she knelt beside Alistair. "Oh dear, how much has he had to drink?"

"About half a cup, Wynne." Noticing the disbelief on Wynne's face, Aedan shrugged as he went back to his tent, talking as he returned with a blanket for Alistair. "What can I say? Alistair can't handle anything stronger than wine. Let him sleep it off."


	4. Chapter 4

She sat alone, by her tent, staring at the fire. She hadn't spoken since they had left the small house in Denerim. Even now, there was still traces of blood on her armour, now dried by time and the heat of the flames. "Hey, you alright?"

"Sorry? Oh, yes, I'm fine, just sitting here thinking. Why do you ask?" Even as she answered, Leliana still stared at the fire, unmoving.

"You just seem distracted." Aedan brushed the log before he sat next to the Bard. "Do you want to talk about…her?"

"Who? Oh, Marjolaine. I don't know…." He strained to hear Leliana over the crackling fire, her voice low, pained.

"She was special to you, wasn't she?" the Warden could see his friend was on the verge of breaking down.

"Yes. After all these years, it hurts to realise that I never really knew her. Maybe I never really knew the real Marjolaine. Maybe I did, and I chose to ignore what I saw."

"Leliana, sometimes… people will surprise you. It doesn't matter how long we knew them or what they've done in the past, they will always do something to surprise us." His hands wrung each other, pushing back his own memories of betrayal. "But, let me know if there is anything I can do.""

"Your listening to me is enough. But sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing leaving the Chantry and Lothering. Maybe I should just stayed there."

Releasing his hands, Aedan looked at Leliana, nudging her with his arm. "You know that she would have come after you eventually."

"It doesn't matter Aedan, I thought it was safe in the Chantry, but my past still followed me there."The young woman rested her head into her hands, a quiet tear ran down her cheek.

"I thought you said that the Maker sent you a vision…."

"I know you don't believe my vision, I know what the others say about it, and what you think. I'm fooling myself believing the Maker wanted me to help."

"Leliana, don't give up on your faith, not now."

Her head shot up from her hands, her face flush with anger. "Ha! That's rich, you telling me not to give up my faith, Aedan, I know you don't believe in the Maker, and you're right not to. We're alone in this world, and we always will be…"

Aedan kept his voice low, letting the others around the camp sleep in peace. "And that's where you might be wrong. I was raised Andrastean, though you might call me lapsed now. Every Seventh day before I left home was a battle between myself and my mother to get me to the chapel before the services began. You know how if you look out at a congregation and there is always one child falling asleep, I was that one child. I never really understood how the Maker could create all this and just decide to abandon it, not once but twice. I might not have faith in the Maker, Leliana, but I have faith in other forces in this world." Her curiosity piqued, Leliana looked at the Warden as he spoke.

"I have faith in the fact that what I have done so far has been for the right reasons. I have faith in the fact that I will never back down when someone needs me. I have faith that I will always have a witty one liner ready for those who deserve it." The Bard giggled despite herself, Aedan smiling at the sound. "I thought you might like that one. But I also have faith in the people I travel with, like Alistair, Wynne, everyone else in camp, and you."

"But I feel like I'm slipping, all that we've done, hunting men down, killing Marjolaine, I know I shouldn't enjoy it, but I loved the thrill and the rush. I don't want to be like her."

Placing his hand on her shoulder, Aedan looked Leliana in the eye, a hint of a smile, just barely visible, on the edge of his lips. "You're not slipping, Leliana, you are simply remembering who you are."

"But what's to stop me from becoming just like Marjolaine?" A tear ran down her cheek at the horrifying thought of becoming like her mentor.

For a moment, Aedan said nothing, instead deep in thought, trying to think of an answer for her. "A choice. You have a choice, just like she did. Marjolaine chose to hide who she was, you can choose to hide in a Chantry, or to face the world head on. But remember Leliana, I'm your friend and you're not alone."

"Thank you Aedan, for talking to me, but I think I'd like to have time to myself."

Walking back to his tent, Aedan looked back at Leliana, and smiled as he saw the Bard placing her lute on her lap, tuning the strings. "Of course, but you know I'm here to talk if you need to. Goodnight Leliana."


	5. Chapter 5

As the camp slept, Aedan sat alone by the fire unravelling the bandage that had been tightly wrapped around his hand, he felt a presence approach, and was surprised by the firm hands that took his. A thumb pressed at various points on his hand, feeling between the bones, checking for breaks or fractures. Satisfied, the firm hands released him, and dusting off the log, Wynne sat next to the young Grey Warden.

"It doesn't seem to be broken, Aedan, but you should be more careful in the future."

Flexing his fingers, Aedan shrugged, pointing back to the sleeping Elf on the other side of the fire. "Alright, next time, I'll let a wolf rip Zevran's throat out. Actually, I feel sorry for the wolf, I think it broke a couple of teeth when it bit my gauntlet."

A stern look from the mage told Aedan she in no way appreciated his humour. "Do not be so glib with me, young man. I might be older than you, but I can still use my staff to knock some sense into a young upstart's head like yours."

"Older, as in you're a couple of years older than me? Wynne, you're old enough to be my mother." The events of the previous days had begun to catch up with Aedan, the Warden rubbing his eyes, vainly trying to battle sleep.

Bewildered, Wynne looked at the young man, unsure if he was jesting or being serious. "Well thank you… I think. Everyone else, especially Alistair, seems to believe I have a grandmotherly quality."

"I would have called you that too, but I was afraid you might hit me with that staff and I wouldn't want you tiring out." He stifled the rising laughter, instead bracing himself for a wrap on the head from Wynne's staff.

"Such a nice young man."

Relaxing, Aedan chuckled. "I do my best."

Wynne extended her hand towards the fire, whispering a chant of a spell, increasing the power of the flames. "These old bones feel the cold so easily now, I hope you don't mind." Aedan simply shook his head, indifferent to the heat. "Tell me, do you know much about the Grey Wardens of old?"

Blinking hard, Aedan shifted on the log, trying to keep himself awake. "Only the tales told around camp fires. About the proud Griffons the Grey Wardens rode to battle on."

Sighing, Wynne leaned against her staff, talking more to the symbol of her rank in the Circle of Magi than to the Grey Warden next to her. "It seems the Griffons are the only things people remember about the tales."

Looking to the sky, Wynne began her tale. "The Blight had ravaged the lands for many months, sweeping all before them. Preparing themselves, many kingdoms amassed their forces for the final battle. Across the battlefield stood a seething horde of Darkspawn, led by the Archdemon. When all hope and courage seemed lost, the Grey Wardens arrived, to the beat of powerful wings, like mighty war drums."

"Griffons?" Wynne looked at the Warden, gritting her teeth as Aedan asked the question.

"Yes, Griffons, now be quiet and listen to the rest of the tale. The Grey Wardens grim and fearless marched towards the Darkspawn, ever between the Men and the forces of the Blight. They held the line, forming a shield from their own bodies. When the battle was finally over, the Archdemon was slain and the Darkspawn defeated. Seeking neither reward nor recognition for their sacrifices, the Grey Wardens departed."

"On their Griffons?"

"Yes! Maker's breath, it's like talking to a child! What is the obsession with Griffons that everyone seems to have?" Wynne turned, anger in her eyes for the child-like behaviour Aedan had shown.

"I used to tell my nephew stories about the Grey Wardens. He always loved hearing about the Griffons. They were his favourites." The tiredness he had felt a moment ago was gone, now replaced by a sense of pain and loss.

Wynne paused, the anger subsiding as she watched the Warden rise, and as he began to walk back to his tent. "You have a nephew? Where is he?"

"I had. He's dead, murdered. Like the rest of my family."

She raised her hand to her mouth in horror, now apologetic for her outburst. "Oh… I am…"

Aedan knelt before his tent, his head turning back slightly to the Mage. "Sorry? Not as much as I am, Wynne. Good night."


	6. Chapter 6

"So tell me why you think it's such a good idea for you, a psychotic Dwarf and an assassin that tried to kill you two weeks ago go into the Deep Roads looking for Branka and this Anvil of the Void?" Aedan could only smile as Alistair paced across the cramped room. The Orzammar Assembly had set aside several rooms for the Grey Wardens and their companions in one of the taverns in the Diamond Quarter of the city, and while they were comfortable enough, Aedan knew if he kept his head tilted much longer it would stay like that. Though it was still amusing to see Alistair walk around the room, his head bobbing like a cockerel.

"Practicality, Alistair. There are only two Grey Wardens in Fereldan right now. Sending one of us in there is bad enough, but the both of us? That's just stupidity at it's finest." Clasping his backpack shut, Aedan tapped his friend on the shoulder, pausing him for a moment. "Zevran swore to protect me, and it's in his best interest to remember that. Even if he survives the escape from the Deep Roads after killing me, which I really hope he doesn't try by the way, you will be waiting to kill him."

"Alright, but why the Dwarf?" It was hard to tell if the Templar was nodding or shaking a crick in his neck. It might have been the odd angle Aedan's own head was. _The Assembly couldn't have found slightly taller rooms for us?_

Sitting down on the bed, Aedan sighed as he moved his head. _Oh, the sooner I'm out of here, the happier my neck is going to be. "_Three reasons. Firstly, he knows the Deep Roads. Secondly, he knows Branka, how she thought, where she might go."

Raising an eyebrow, Alistair looked at the Warden expectantly. "And the third reason?"

"He's funny! I'm going to need a laugh down there."

"Ok. Just…Good luck down there." The Templar held his hand out.

Aedan took the offered hand, grasping the wrist as Alistair grabbed his. "I'm not the one whose going to need it. After all, you'll be stuck here with Sten. But thanks."

As Alistair smiled and left the room, Aedan lay on the bed, closing his eyes, calling out to his friend. "If you behave yourself, I might even bring you back something nice!"

"Does that apply to me, as well Warden?" Aedan opened an eye, and saw Morrigan standing over him.

Smiling to himself as Morrigan sat on a chair in the corner of the room, Aedan pushed himself up on the bed. "That depends, do you ever behave yourself?"

She smiled back, a devilish gleam in her eyes as she countered. "Only when it serves me well by doing so." And suddenly her mood had changed, growing more serious. "And as much as it galls me, I agree with the simpleton. 'Tis foolish for just three of you to do this mad errand. At least take the hound with you and spare us his flea ridden stench."

By now Aedan had gotten off the bed, checking his pack again, answering as he sorted through his equipment and supplies. "Sorry Morrigan, but if something does happen and we don't return in two days, Beast can track us down and you and the others can complete this madness. And in case you were wondering, there is another reason it's only the three of us going into the Deep Roads. I don't want you down there."

The Witch had shot up from her seat, her voice was charged with anger, like the clouds before a storm. "If I am to be left behind because we have shared a bed, then you are a bigger fool than I had thought! I am not a piece of meat that you can claim ownership to simply because we have slept together!"

Aedan turned, and looked at Morrigan. And burst into a smile. "You're cute when your angry, you know that? And while I will admit that the sex is amazing, that's not the reason. You're the only other one who can read a map properly. I mean, have you seen Alistair trying to read a map? The last time it took him nearly half an hour to realise he was holding it upside down."

It was enough, Morrigan pushed passed the Warden and opened the pack, a slight smile on her lips as she slid a number of poultices amongst the supplies. "I am more than capable of handling myself."

"Oh, of that I have no doubt. And you should smile more often, Morrigan. After all, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips."

Even as he looked at the back of her head, Aedan knew exactly what Morrigan was doing. First, she would roll her eyes at the obvious innuendo, and would prepare a retort, probably a stinging one. "The second best? I am loathe to wonder what your mind believes to be the best."

He made his move as Morrigan began to turn towards him. Aedan reached out, taking a hold of her waist and pulled the Witch against his body. Tilting her head, Aedan kissed her. She offered no resistance, and returned the kiss with one of her own, her hand gripping his hair. Their lips parting, Aedan looked the Witch in the eye, and uttered two words before pulling Morrigan closer.

"That is."


	7. Chapter 7

"Pup, what do you know of the old tales?"

Aedan looked at his father as the pair walked through the streets of Highever, the people bowing to the Teyrn and his son as they passed, the sounds of "My Lord" and "Master Aedan" constantly repeating in the boy's ears. His father stood as tall as he ever did, his dark brown hair streaked with slivers of silvery hair, the faint outline of a close beard wrapping it's way around his chin.

"Only what Nan told me, Father. I think "The Hound that Bit" is the only one she knows."

"Probably, but don't let her or your mother hear that I said that. But it also contains a valuable lesson, doesn't it? Respect everyone, no matter their rank or place in life. A good thing to remember, wouldn't you say Aedan?"As his father tried to impart a lesson he had heard since he was in swaddling clothes, Aedan looked around the market, and caught sight of a young Elven girl across the square. She seemed the same age, no more then thirteen, her blonde hair pulled behind her head in a ponytail. Even across the square, Aedan could see the girl had the clearest blue eyes he had ever seen. As he looked at her, the girl caught sight of Aedan, and shyly smiling as she waved to him. Almost puzzled, Aedan returned the smile and wave, before the girl ran after her grandmother.

"Aedan?" His father's voice called to him, the boy realising he had stopped in the middle of the street.

Running to his father, Aedan saw a quizzical look in the Teyrn's eyes. "Yes, Father?"

"The lesson, what do you think?"

There was only one answer he could give, and the only one that ever made sense to him. "That we only rule this land because the people we serve allow us to do so."

Bryce smiled at his son, and waved him to join him, placing his hand on the boy's shoulder. "Good boy, and if we have time after this, you can talk to the girl. Her grandparents are good people, I know them well."

As they walked, Aedan heard his father breathe deeply, a wistful look in his eyes. His father never spoke of his own childhood, all Aedan could understand was that he had grown up during the Orlesian occupation of Fereldan, and Highever fought long and hard against the invaders. "I always love the market, don't you? The bustle of the people, the smells in the air, the traders selling their wares, the farmers their crops. Always so chaotic, but also, so calm as well." Eventually the pair reached the outskirts of the town, and Bryce paused before one of the larger farmsteads. "Ah, here we are."

An Elf walked out of the home, smiling as he approached, his hand outstretched. He was in his fifties, his white hair cut close to his head, contrasting the healthy tan a life of farming had granted him. As Bryce shook his hand, the Elf nodded to him, and to Aedan. He spoke, a gruff voice, respectful, but also stern enough that Aedan paid attention. "Greetings my lord, Master Aedan."

"Hello Coran, how are you, my friend? And you're family? Is your granddaughter settling in alright?" Bryce nudged Aedan in front of him, the boy a little shy to speak. "Pup, say hello."

"Hello mister Coran, Ser."

"I am well my lord. Mera is fine, though she misses her parents, Maker hold them close. In fact she and my wife are at the market now."

"That is good, and please, my friend, let me know if there is anything I can do."

"My thanks, my lord. They should be up and about now, if you and Master Aedan wish to see them."

Bryce glanced down at Aedan, and ruffled his son's hair. "Yes. That sounds like an excellent idea. And I keep telling you to call me Bryce, we've known each other for nearly twenty years."

"Force of habit, my Lord. They are in the barn, I'll take you to them now."

As they made their way to the barn, Aedan tried to hear what the two men were discussing, but was unable to hear anything but snippets of a conversation, "and they are sixteen weeks old?" and "Yes, one of the oldest bloodlines". Stopping before the barn, Bryce turned to his son, whispering to Aedan so as not to disturb whatever was in there. "Now pup, be careful when you go into the barn. There are some guests in there who are quite young, are not used to noise, and who might tire very easily. Do you understand?"

"Yes father."

Bryce smiled and nodded to Coran, the Elf opening the door, and let the young boy pass by. As he entered, Aedan struggled to see in the darkness, having at first feel his way past the pillars and farm tools. It was then that he heard it, or rather, them. As his eyes adjusted to the dark, Aedan began to make out a shape before him, several smaller shapes running around it, yapping, tumbling over each other. The smaller shapes stopped, now picking up a new scent, and ran towards Aedan, the Mabari pups excited to see the boy.

Aedan laughed as the pups scampered around him, one pawing at his legs, almost begging to be picked up. Granting it's desire, Aedan picked up the pup, holding it close to him, rewarded by an enthusiastic lick to the face from the young hound.

"It is our gift to you Master Aedan, any one of the pups as a companion." Coran walked by Aedan, kneeling by the mother, the hound licking the Elf's hand.

Barely able to contain his excitement, Aedan looked at his father, Bryce nodding in agreement. "Really? For me? Thank you Coran, Ser! Thank you!" The pup in his hands barked excitedly as Aedan gently rubbing it behind it's ears. "I like this one."

Coran looked the Mabari in the boy's hand, and offered a cautionary smile. "Oh, be careful of that one, he can be a right beast at feeding time."

"A beast?" Aedan laughed as the pup yawned, exhausted by the excitement. "Yes, I like that name. I'm going to call you Beast. Do you like that?"


	8. Chapter 8

_And so here I am. Once the hunter, I am now the hunted, my prey now stalks me in the forest. How did it come to this? How did the mighty warrior become…._ "Tag, you're it!"

Aedan grabbed his head as the young Elven girl ran back amongst the trees. How she managed to keep doing that was beyond the boy. Rubbing his head, Aedan turned and shouted after her. "Ow! Hey, no fair!"

The girl spun around, her blonde hair caught by the wind, swaying it gently in the breeze. Her blue eyes shone as the sun fell behind Aedan. Mera called back to him, punctuating her argument by sticking her tongue out at Aedan. "Yes it was fair, you weren't paying attention and I tagged you and now you have to chase me!"

"I'm going to get you!" He smiled to himself as he ran into the forest, the Mabari pup yelping behind him as it followed, stumbling over the detritus of the woods.

Mera giggled as she watched Aedan and Beast follow her, leading them on a merry chase throughout the old Highever forest. Suddenly the trees disappeared, giving way to a cliff overlooking the Waking Sea. The girl had never seen the ocean before, and became so entranced by the grey waves she failed to notice Aedan walk up beside her, the young boy staring at the sea with a look of sadness in his eyes. It was when Beast licked her hand, Mera realised she was not alone, and looked at her friend. "What is it Aedan? What's wrong?"

"I found out this morning that I will be leaving Highever?"

He could see she was shocked, surprised, almost unable to comprehend what had just been told to her. Her clear, blue eyes appeared to be filling with tears at the revelation. She stammered. "Why?"

Aedan shrugged, the boy still unsure of why he had to leave. "I'm to be sent to Nevarra, to be a squire for a friend of my father's."

The tears in Mera's eyes were quickly replaced by an excited look, like waking up on the morning of Satinalia, and seeing a gift resting on the end of the bed. "A squire? Will you become a knight?"

"I… I don't know. I suppose so, that's how it works right? I become a squire and later I will become a knight." He picked up a stone, turning it over in his hand before throwing it into the waters below.

Mera giggled again as she picked up Beast, rubbing the hounds ears softly. "It sounds exciting. Maybe they'll write stories about you! About you and your faithful hound standing alone against whole armies, and defeating them! There will be songs about Ser Aedan Cousland and his mighty Mabari hound Beast, slaying the evil dragon terrorising a helpless village and saving the princess."

Looking at the girl, the pup eagerly seeking to lick her face, Aedan couldn't help but laugh at the idea. "You really think that? Have you seen me with a sword? With my luck I'll probably swing the blade and cut off my ear."

Mera continued to nuzzle Beast as she listened to Aedan, a look of determination in her eyes. "No, I think you'll be a hero. In fact, I know it." And then she became apprehensive, worried. "But…promise me something Aedan. Please."

_She's upset, then again so am I. _"Of course, my lady." Aedan offered an exaggerated bow, putting his friend at ease.

"Promise me you'll be safe, and that you'll never forget about Highever and me. Promise me that you'll be a hero." Mera knelt to the ground, letting Beast jump from her arms. The pup scampered to Aedan's feet, pawing at his master's leg.

"I promise, Mera. I promise you that I'll come back to Highever. I give you my word."

A voice called out in the forest. "Mera! Where are you? Mera!" It was Coran, searching for his granddaughter.

The girl smiled as she tied her hair back. "Good. I'll hold you to that Aedan." Before she started to make her way home, Mera turned and ran up to Aedan, and pressed her lips against his. "I'll see you again before you leave, Ser Knight. Bye."

As he watched Mera walk away, Aedan brought his finger to his lips, realising he had just had his first kiss. "Don't worry Mera. I'll keep that promise."


	9. Chapter 9

"Hey Warden! That mutt dog of yours stole my pants again!" He could smell the Dwarf approaching before he heard the accusation. Aedan sat up on his bedroll, his face creasing at the overpowering stench of alcohol and sweat. Standing at the end of the roll, Oghren was swaying against a non-existent wind, the mead sack in his hand sloshing by the motion. _He's at it again…Actually…did he even stop? Are we even carrying that much alcohol?_

Aedan rubbed eyes, both to wake himself and to try and stop from the stench from making his eyes water. "No, he didn't Oghren. You're wearing your pants." _This is getting ridiculous…_

"Ha! That's because I'm waiting for that big horse of a nug-licker to try it again. And then I can fix him, I'll fix him good." The Dwarf teetered on his feet, almost falling over and yet somehow managed to right himself.

Aedan leapt to his feet, towering over the Dwarf. Glaring, the Warden spoke slowly and clearly, making sure Oghren understood him, even in his mead-addled state. "Oghren! You touch my dog and I swear, you'll become the first Dwarf in history to fly without the help of a Griffon."

"Let him come." Almost before he finished the sentence, Oghren collapsed to the ground, asleep and muttering something about asschabs.

Aedan sighed, and walked away from the camp, calling out to Alistair. "Anyone wants me; I'm going for a walk."

He soon found himself by a stream, watching leaves float by on the slow moving water. Thoughts and memories turned to those days when he and Fergus would take Oren into the forests near their home, trying to teach the lad some of the ways of how to track and hunt.

Suddenly, cool hands had worked their way under his shirt, the delicate fingers tracing their way up his back, following the large scar that marked Aedan's skin. A soft voice whispered in his ear. _So, she's found me then. _"Tell me Warden, are you having second thoughts about allowing that loathsome Dwarf to accompany you?"

"Morrigan. Are you sure you aren't a rogue? You seem to be able to sneak up on me a little too often." The Warden smiled as her fingers caressed the nape of his neck. And as quickly as they had appeared, the hands were gone, the Witch walking around Aedan, before her hands rested on his chest.

"You are not the only one who knows their way around the wilder places of the world. And you did not answer my question."

Aedan couldn't help but smirk to himself as Morrigan pushed him against the trunk of a nearby tree, slowly teasing his shirt open. "True enough and no. I'm not having second thoughts about bringing Oghren with us. He might stink, be constantly drunk and a far more lecherous toad than Zevran, but damn it if he can't fight. And come on, it's handy to have a berserk axe wielding dwarf to throw at the enemy while we get to safety."

She stopped, her tone serious as he stared into those golden eyes of hers. "Just keep him and the Elf away from me, lest by the time I am finished with them there will not be enough to feed that hound of yours."

"I wouldn't expect anything less from you. So would you like to know a secret?" Aedan gritted his teeth with pleasure as the shirt was finally opened, Morrigan gently scraping his chest with her nails.

She paused again, listening intently to Aedan. "Oh? This should be interesting. Go on then. Tell me."

"Beast hasn't been stealing Oghren's pants. It was Zev and I." He laughed at the confused look Morrigan now had, the Witch unsure of what to make of the Warden's confession. He shrugged, pulling her closer. "Hey, don't look at me like that. I get mischievous and I play pranks when I'm bored, and messing with Oghren's head just happens to be a lot of fun."

Shaking her head, Morrigan went back to the task of removing Aedan's shirt, smiling to herself as the cloth fell to the forest floor. "'Twould seem that the fate of Ferelden is in the hands of a foolish prankster. I certainly hope you do not try anything like that with me, Warden."

"I wouldn't dare, Morrigan, I'm far too attached to my lungs to try anything like that. And besides you've kept me busy enough to make sure that would never happen." He winked, reaching behind Morrigan and untying the cord holding her blouse together.

A devilish grin formed on Morrigan's lips, the young woman pulling herself up on Aedan's shoulders, kissing him, before biting his lower lip. "Let's just make sure you don't."

"Hmm, I wonder what you have in mind, Morrigan." Aedan returned the kiss as her blouse fell to the ground, lying next to his shirt.


	10. Chapter 10

Each step he took required more and more effort as the mud pulled at his boots. He could barely see as the rain pelted him with such force that each drop stung his flesh. He was cold, wet, more than a little sore, and yet, Aedan smiled. He was walking towards Highever. After so long away, the young Cousland was home.

His time in Nevarra was over and his trials near the Planasene forest were behind him. For his efforts he had been knighted, and those who had passed away were honoured. He'd lost good friends in those few days, but the young man had done the right thing in the end, and their deaths were not in vain.

But he was home now. The past could remain where it belonged as his future lay before him. Pulling back the hood, revealing a head of closely cut black hair and a freshly added marking on his right cheek, a permanent reminder that he had faced the indescribable and the terrifying and yet despite the odds, somehow survived. A reminder to stand firm in adversity and to never back down. Aedan threw his arms and laughed for joy, never more pleased to feel the rain then at that moment. Beast too, seemed overjoyed, bounding around his master; the excited hound's barking filling the air.

Movement nearby gave the young man pause, a short bow drawn and nocked in an instant. The Mabari at his side also noticed, the hound's ears flat against his head as Beast bared his teeth and growled at the source of the noise.

"Show yourself." The command was shaky, but still stern enough to carry some authority. Fresh memories still screamed at him to be wary of the unseen. "I know you are there. So I ask again, show yourself."

The noise revealed itself, a child stepping out from the bushes. A boy, no more than five years old, soaked through and frightened of the imposing man in chain mail and his fearsome hound. "Please Ser. Don't hurt me."

Aedan lowered the bow, Beast relaxed, his shoulders slumping with a slight whine as he realised his and his master's mistake. Aedan walked towards the boy, removing the clasp from his cloak and holding it over the child. The child was shaking with the cold as the knight wrapped the cloak around him. It struck Aedan how familiar the child seemed, piercing green eyes stared at him through a mop of thick brown hair. It was as if Aedan had met this child before, yet he knew it was impossible. He would have been in Cumberland for nearly two years when this boy had been born, and yet there was a strange sense of familiarity at play.

"My apologies, pup. Are you alright?" He was kneeling before the boy, water and mud flowing into his boot and he didn't care. "I did not mean to frighten you, you caught me by surprise." The boy calmed down, and looked at him, fear replaced by curiosity. "Tell me, what are you doing so far from the town? Where are your parents?"

The boy pointed at the bend in the road, leading to Highever. "Mama and Papa were at the market, and I saw a rabbit, and I chased it. But I lost him. And then I got wet."

Aedan smiled and shook his head, reminded of the times he had done similar things, driving his parents and Nan crazy with his antics. The boy returned the smile with one of his own, revealing a gap in the middle of his teeth. "So pup, what's your name?"

Before the boy could answer, a man called out from beyond the bend. "Oren! Oren! Where are you boy!" And yet again, Aedan was struck by a sense of familiarity, almost certain he knew who the voice belonged to.

"Oren. Is that your name?"

The boy nodded sheepishly, trying to hide underneath the cloak.

"Well Oren, maybe we should get you back to your parents. They must be worried about you."

Oren peeked from under the hood, whispering to Aedan, as Beast looked at the pair. "Ok."

Aedan looked at Beast, and saw the fear in the child's eyes. The Mabari had indeed grown large, and could easily intimidate a grown man. Small wonder the child was frightened of Beast. "That's Beast. Don't worry about him Oren, he might seem scary, but he's actually as gentle as a lamb. Isn't that right boy?"

The hound barked and rolled onto his back in agreement. "He really likes it if you rub just behind his ear. And you can do that, once we get you to your parents."

Aedan hefted the boy into his arms, and began to walk to Highever. Thankfully the rain had slackened as they turned the bend in the road, and were greeted by a nervous looking man and woman, frantically searching the road and calling for their son. The mother was the first to spot them, as she ran towards them, throwing her arms around her son, a tear of relief running down her cheek.

"Oren. Oh Oren. Thank you Ser, thank you. Oren, please do not run away like that." The woman held her son, overjoyed he was safe. Her braided hair clung to her head, drenched by the rain. "Oh thank you returning him to us Ser."

The father had caught up now, checking his son and rubbing his head, pleased that Oren had been unhurt. As he turned to face Aedan, the man held his hand out. "Thank you Ser. I don't know how he does it, but Oren manages to find trouble for himself. I cannot thank you enough."

The face was older, a couple more lines around the mouth, slight bags hung under the eyes, the same green eyes as Oren, and as Aedan, and a Maker-awful beard was scattered around his chin. _Could it be?_

Aedan was still for a moment, confusing the man, as the pair studied each other, a realisation slowly dawning on the pair.

"Fergus?"

The man half nodded, half unsure of who stood before him. "Aedy?"

Both men laughed and threw their arms around each other, drawing confused looks from Oren and Oriana as the brothers were reunited. Fergus pushed Aedan back and studied the man touching his face and the marking. "Is it really you? When did you arrive? Why didn't you send word?"

"Last time I checked, it's me. And I reached Amaranthine last week. I didn't want anyone to make a fuss. And what is with your chin? It looks like you skinned a pair of field mice and stuck them to your chin."

"Same old Aedan. Home for less than a moment and you're already mocking me. You are home right?"

Tired, soaked, cold and sore, Aedan smiled, never having felt better in his life. "It's true Fergus, I'm home."


	11. Chapter 11

His breath left his lips as an icy vapour, the chill of the Frostback Mountains left him with an uneasiness that had been more difficult to shake off than the snow on his cloak. Looking around, Aedan could see he was not the only one to feel uneasy. The assassin, Zevran, looked nervous in the confined chasm, expecting an ambush from some unseen enemy. Strange that in the previous weeks, the elf had spent much of the journey eager to sleep with one member of the party or another, extolling his virtues and exploits, now silenced but the frozen stone surrounding them. It would have been amusing if it hadn't been true. They were entering the realm of another nation, during a time of war, and with no way to announce themselves; the Dwarves of Orzammar might consider the party enemies or bandits. Now more than every the party had to be wary of their surroundings.

Perhaps it had been worse for the Dwarven trader, Bodhan Feddic, once a citizen of Orzammar, he had been reduced to being a "Surfacer", a self-imposed exile from his home. The fear was clear to see in the old man's eyes, both for himself and for his son Sandal. The pair had chosen to remain behind, making camp at the base of the mountains.

Each person had their own reasons to feel apprehensive, be it the fear of ambush, like Zevran, the thought of being trapped below a mountain, like Morrigan, or sensing the Darkspawn, as Aedan and Alistair had done as they made their way through the various passes.

As they prepared to break camp for the final part of the journey, only one person had remained calm, unreadable save for the occasional grunt. The prisoner in Lothering that the others had insisted on freeing, the Quanri warrior, Sten.

Since they had left the village, the Qunari rarely spoke, looking down on those who had sought to spare his life, treating them with little respect. When he did speak, it was often to accuse Morrigan or Leliana of not being true women, choosing to fight instead of remaining home to tend crops. In fact, on one occasion Sten had challenged Alistair to a duel, to see if the former Templar initiate was indeed worthy of being called a Grey Warden.

Once again looking down on Aedan with contempt, Sten picked up the heavy steel blade, fastening it to his back. Had Aedan not known better he could have almost seen the sneer as the giant finally spoke and perhaps even picking up a mocking tone in the warrior's words. "All the Darkspawn are fleeing the underground, and we are going there."

Leaving his pack behind, Aedan motioned Sten away from the others. Several times the young man had tried to speak to the Qunari, only to leave exacerbated by the Qunari's stubborn refusal to speak, much less talk about himself. With every ignorant word and disparaging comment he heard, Aedan grew to regret opening that cage more and more. Realising that enough was enough, the Warden looked the Qunari in his violet eyes and spoke, low and firm, ensuring only Sten could hear what was spoken.

"When I was a young man, I had an instructor, a swords master, Brader was his name. He was an old man, but one I respected greatly, the same respect you would give a war veteran." A hint of a smile formed in the corner of Aedan's mouth at the memory. "He was missing half his left hand and his left eye had been burned away. His smile extended up his right cheek from where someone sliced through the cheek."

Unmoving, Sten stared at young man, even under the plate armour, Aedan knew the Qunari's body had tensed, muscles preparing for battle. "Is there a point to this, Warden, or do you seek to warm yourself with your words?"

Though much shorter than the Qunari, Aedan stepped forward, matching the hostility from Sten with his own presence. By now, the others had noticed the pair and were themselves preparing for an altercation. Beast's ears lay flat against his head, the Mabari ready to aid his master in an instant. "He always used to say that, "If you can't say anything nice or useful, shut up or I will rip your tongue out!" Of course the first person to question that had his small finger broken. The second, a woman, used a double handed sword and plate armour like you, had her nose broken. The third, the last I heard, he still had difficulty chewing solid food."

"Are you trying to intimidate me Warden? Or are you seeking to put me to sleep?" Again, Sten remained emotionless.

"No, Qunari," The words were spat out through gritted teeth. "My intention is merely to pass on a lesson. While we might believe that it costs nothing to say something, there are always consequences to be paid later! Remember that!"

The air became tense for a moment before Sten backed away, a barely perceptible nod marking the understanding between the two warriors. Reaching down for his pack a voice behind him brought him back to the others, the Antivan lilt was unmistakeably Zevran's. "Warden, if you finish discussing plans with Sten, I believe I speak for the others when I say were are ready to make our way to the gates and get out of this cold."

As he turned to reply, Aedan was greeted by the sight of Zevran and Leliana wrapped up in the extra furs and blankets they had brought with them into the mountains. Dumbfounded for a moment, Aedan smiled as he continued on the path towards Orzammar. "Zevran… I really hope we don't get the weather you two are expecting!"


	12. Chapter 12

Light briefly flooded the barn as the door opened, Aedan slipping through before he shut it. Taking a moment to allow his eyes to adjust to the darkness, the young man tried to pick his way passed the farming implements, stumbling over several bales of hay, cursing to himself all the while. His hand still stung from knocking Vaughn to the ground. _Little bastard deserved it though…_

He had no doubt that word would get to his father, that he would be summoned to Bryce's study. He also had no doubt that the same books would be opened and placed upon the antique desk. Not that it mattered to the young Cousland. He was certain he had done the right thing, though he had been a little disappointed he had only broken Vaughn's nose.

Smiling to himself at the sight of the "nobleman" spluttering and crawling in the mud, Aedan walked into the ladder leading up to the loft of the barn. Rubbing his own nose and trying to shake off the irony of what had just happened, Aedan stared into the darkness above him and began to climb the rungs of the ladder. _They can all wait until later, this is far more important_

As he reached the loft, he found her, huddled in the corner, her knees tucked in under her chin.

"Mera…are you alright?" Hefting himself into the loft, Aedan crawled towards the girl, though she could no longer be called a girl. He knew that in his time away that he had changed, but he had never expected his friend to change that much either. Her hair had remained the same, as if made from rays of sunshine, as had her eyes, the same glimmer in those blue eyes, like topaz. Still, she had grown into a beautiful young woman, her braids framing a near flawless face, marred only by the dirt from Vaughn's grubby hands.

Even in the darkness, he could see the tell-tale streaks of tears across her cheeks. Kneeling across her, Aedan reached out towards the elf, only for her to scream as his hand brushed the hair away from her eyes. Backing away, Aedan kept his distance from the girl, making sure his body didn't block her exit.

"Mera, it's alright, you're safe. Vaughn is gone. He won't hurt you, I made sure of that."

Her eyes darted back and forth, red from the tears, slowly recognising Aedan. She spoke, her voice on the verge of breaking. "Aedan?" She searched the room, fearing that the shadows were sheltering another bastard. "Is he gone?"

"Yes, he's gone."

The elf pulled her legs closer, wrapping her arms around them, as she continued to cry. "I'm sorry."

"There's no need to be sorry, Mera. You're safe now. No one will hurt you."

His hand reached out, tentatively at first, resting on her shoulder as she let him come closer. Without warning Mera leapt at Aedan, throwing her arms around his chest. Holding her close, the younger Cousland whispered to the elf, shielding her from the darkness.

"No one is going to hurt you Mera, I promise."


	13. Chapter 13

"Warden… A word, if I may?" The elf walked past the campfire, a slightly confused look in his eyes.

Beast's head lay on Aedan's lap, the young man scratching the Mabari's ears. The others were busy around the camp, Morrigan in her own camp, preparing potions; Leliana and Alistair were standing over the stew pot. Sten and Shale stood watch as Wynne tried to convince Oghren to take the razor and bar of soap. "What is it Zevran?"

"I was wondering…" The assassin knelt across from the Warden, his eyes fixed on the hound. Beast returned the gaze with a yawn, falling asleep on his master's lap, feeling no threat from the elf. "Why did you spare my life, even after I tried to kill you?"

Alistair looked up, calling over to Aedan, before Leliana nudged him with her elbow. "I was wondering that myself."

The pair ignored the Templar. Shifting his body, Aedan sat up, soothing Beast before the hound stirred. "Honestly Zevran? You reminded me of someone I once knew."

Zevran's eyes lightened immediately, pulling himself closer to the Warden. "Oh? A former lover, perhaps?"

"Do me a favour, and keep your little fantasies to yourself." Aedan pushed the elf back. "No, this person was someone I met in Nevarra. A mage from the Circle. I guess you could have called him a friend."

Disappointed, Zevran sat down, taking a dagger out and began to sharpen it with a whetstone. "Interesting, but I fail to see how I remind you of a mage."

"There is just something about you that reminded me of you. It's kind of hard to explain what it was. Maybe it was the same attitude, or it might be the same defeated look you had in your eyes when you saw several swords and a bow pointed at your neck."

"Ah…thank you for reminding me of that oh so pleasant memory Warden." The dagger slid back into its sheathe, the elf now getting bored.

"My pleasure." Aedan smiled to himself. It wasn't a topic he relished discussing, nor was it one he was interested in remembering. But if he was going to be uncomfortable, he wasn't going to be the only one.

Sighing, Zevran looked up at sky, thinking for a moment before talking again. "But what happened to that mage?"

"He died."

"Oh…I see." A flash of fear crossed the elf's eyes, as if he still feared to be executed at any moment. "And I suppose you expect the same to happen to me?"

"No." It was Aedan's turn to sigh, as he desperately tried not to remember the events long since passed. "Well, not unless you wish to outrun a large fireball. Don't worry Zevran; I'm not going to do anything."

Standing up, Zevran began to walk back to his tent, before he turned around. "As much as I might regret to ask, but how did all this happen?"

"There isn't enough alcohol in Oghren's backpack or the rest of Ferelden to make me tell that story Zev." Sliding back against his pack, Aedan closed his eyes. "Now, I'm going to get some sleep before it's my turn for the night watch."

_Sometimes, the memories will always come back, no matter how much we don't want them to._


	14. Chapter 14

The sound of a child and hound at play echoed around him, yet Aedan paid them no mind, instead content on staring into the distance, his mind elsewhere, lost in memories. He was home, he knew that, the scent of Spring carried about by the wind, yet he was still trying to make sense of everything that had happened to him in the previous year, conflicted by what he felt; pride, for what he accomplished. Pain, for those he had lost. Infatuation, for someone who had always been a friend and who could be more than that.

As he sat wistfully in the courtyard, the world passed by him, guards on patrol would absentmindedly offer him a "mi' lord" as they went about their business, the servants kept their heads low, careful to not draw the younger Cousland's attention.

"If you stay like that, you'll become part of the castle wall."

Aedan's head snapped up, and greeted his mother with a rapid blink before stumbling off the bench.

"Mother, my apologies, I didn't hear you coming."

Eleanor smiled briefly as she watched her younger son scramble to his feet, before reaching out and brushing away some of the dust from Aedan's shirt. "Perhaps you would have preferred if I had a herald announce my approach darling?"

Smiling again as she straightened her son's collar, Eleanor sat down, beckoning Aedan to sit next to her.

Aedan obeyed, and sat down, his shoulders relaxing. As he watched Beast playfully chase after Oren, "Before you ask, I'm fine. There isn't anything wrong with me."

Eleanor smiled and waved at Oren as the young boy tried to climb onto the Mabari's back. "Aedan, you may have been gone for seven years, but I am still your mother, I know when something is wrong."

Nodding, Aedan ran his hand through his hair, the jet black mess thick and smooth. "Next you'll be telling me to get married so you can have grandchildren."

"Do not tempt me child, and do not think of reminding me that you have my tongue, it might work with your father, and it will **not** work with me." Her voice was stern, maternal, and fully aware of the tricks her sons would try to employ.

A laugh was stifled as it tried to escape the young man's lips. "You can't blame me for trying."

"Perhaps, though I could shame you for trying such an obvious ploy." The Teyrna reached out Aedan's hand, gently wrapping it in her own. "Do you wish to tell me what is wrong?"

He looked down at the hand, and smiled, patting it softly. "There isn't anything wrong Mother, I'm just thinking about the past and some old friends."

Letting go of Aedan's hand, Eleanor brushed away some of the hair covering Aedan's face. "But there is more to it than that, isn't there? I will not push you darling, but please remember that you can look to the past to remind yourself of where you came from. But do not live in the past Aedan, that will kill you swifter than any blade."

Nodding, Aedan stepped away from the bench stretching his arms before looking back to Eleanor. "I…I'll try to remember that Mother."

"Good." Eleanor smiled to herself. "Well then, perhaps it is time you showed me how much you remembered about archery."

"Ah, of course." Aedan offered his hand to Eleanor, lifting her from the bench.

As she led the way to the armoury, Eleanor looped her arm through Aedan's. "And while we do that, I can tell you about some of the young ladies I met at Lady Landra's spring salon. You might like some of them."

Aedan sighed and muttered under his breath. "Mother…."

"Aedan Mather Cousland, I am allowed to tease my son; it is one of the rights I have after giving birth to you." A broad smile crossed her lips as they walked through the halls of Highever castle.

"You are an evil woman, you know that, right?"


	15. Chapter 15

_Was it all a lie? _

The letter lay opened in his hands, the lettering carefully scripted, the wording long thought out. Yet for all that the letter could tell him, so many questions remained unanswered, so much needed to be said, now lost forever.

_Maker damn it! Why didn't she tell me?_

He was tempted to tear the letter apart, to be done with it and to try and forget about it. But, every time his hands would try to rip the letter in half, Beast would rest his head on Aedan's lap, letting loose a plaintive whine, each time abating his master's anger. And each time, Aedan would look into the hound's eyes and nod, apologising and comforting the Mabari.

"I'm sorry Beast; I know Coran meant a lot to you, that they all meant something to you. I'm just sorry that things had to end like that."

_She could have trusted me! She didn't have to run._

As he sat by the small stone marker, only the swaying branches of the nearby trees made any sound, though even the soothing rustling was ignored as the nobleman tried to make sense of what had happened, the raw image of the Templars stabbing Coran as he tried to tell them he didn't know where his granddaughter was, raising Aedan's ire against the warriors.

_I thought her a friend, I thought I….._

The proof was irrefutable, according to the leader of the Templars, as she coolly explained what had happened to Aedan and Fergus, their guards keeping the Templars under watch. Each word uttered from her lips incensed the younger Cousland, only his brother keeping him from lashing out at in a rage. The old elf had been a friend of their family long before they were born, a fine breeder of Mabari, a veteran of the war against Orlais, but to these strangers, he had just been another "knife ear", his death barely registering with them. The casual manner they had just killed Coran and felt nothing for the deed had been what infuriated Aedan.

_Why did it have to be so difficult? All it was supposed to be was a few words, to tell her how I felt, to ask her if there was something between us. DAMN IT ALL!_

A few words from Vaughan Urien had sent the Templars to Highever, seeking an apostate mage who had cast a spell on him, causing him lustful thoughts. Of course it had been lies, the little bastard trying to recover some of his pride after being thrown to the ground several weeks before. He knew that there was nothing Aedan, or his father could have done. In that respect, the rule of the Chantry was absolute, and Vaughan had won.

_A few words and my world gets turned upside down. One letter and everything I thought I knew is gone!_

Few had come to the funeral pyre for an old elf, his wife dead for several years, the whispers of a maleficar in the family keeping many of the townspeople away. Even Mother Mallol, who had always told the young Couslands to respect magic, to try and understand the Maker's will, had rushed the ceremony, finding the whole event distasteful.

It seemed that in the end, only Aedan, Beast and Fergus had cared for an old elf.

_How long did she know? Weeks? Months? Years? Did she think I would turn her over to the Chantry or the Templars?_

Aedan had returned to the ashes marker less than week after the funeral. Even then, he still raged, that the Chantry could run roughshod over peoples' lives, to ruin families and destroy them with no thought for the consequences. Preparing to clean the marker, he had found a letter addressed to him, the paper worn and dirty, the hand writing instantly recognisable. A sense of relief was quickly replaced with dread, worry, before anger returned, not to her, but to the world that had forced his friend to run, leaving him alone with nothing but memories.

_Maker, how long did she know? How long did she have carry this by herself? I…I could have helped her._

The sky darkened above him, storm clouds forming high above as the air grew colder. Folding the letter and sliding the letter into his shirt, Aedan rose, before kneeling next to the marker, wiping away the leaves, about to offer a prayer. Realising the irony of what he was about to do, Aedan stopped himself.

"I'm sorry Coran. I couldn't protect you or her, but I hope you can watch over Mera now."

As he walked away, Aedan noticed Beast was still looking at the marker, the Mabari having a private moment of his own it seemed. Calling to his friend, the pair left the marker alone, leaving the rain to clean the freshly engraved inscription.

Beloved Husband, Father And Grandfather.

Coran Surana.

May The Maker Hold You In Peace.


	16. Chapter 16

_They're all dead. Why? Why did he do it?_

His body felt numbed, cold, unfeeling against the heavy rain hammering at his face. His mind kept trying to make sense of what had happened only a few hours beforehand.

_Father was his friend…Why would Arl Howe do this?_

A dozen scratches stung his arms and his face, ignored by another aching pain, begging for release, pleading with him to scream at the top of his lungs. Yet a small piece of him knew that would bring death, or worse.

_Mother, father…Oh Maker…Oren! Oriana! They're all dead!_

A rough hand gripped his shoulder, hauling Aedan to his feet. The Grey Warden had only paused for a moment to find his bearings, leaving the young Cousland and his Mabari alone to their grief. "We must keep moving. I do not believe that we have gotten away from Arl Howe's treachery yet."

"Why?" Duncan, the Warden had to turn back, his face looking as if Aedan had asked an impossible request.

Hurrying forward, Aedan close behind the older man, Duncan brushed passed a branch, searching for the Imperial Highway. "I do not know Aedan. But we must get to Ostagar."

"No!" The comment was insistent, defiant. "I mean why did you leave them behind?"

"There was nothing I could do for your father." Duncan had stopped, spinning around in amazement both at the question and that the Cousland lad was asking it during their flight from harm.

"But what about my mother? My nephew? The other people in the castle?" Aedan's hand had begun to reach for his sword, anger and hatred quickly filling his eyes. "You left them behind to die!"

"There was nothing I could do." The old man had failed to realise that his matter-of-fact manner only served to infuriate the noble before him.

"Nothing you could do? Or nothing you wanted to do?" The hand now gripped the Cousland family blade, the laurel wreath crest clearly visible in the darkness of the night. The blade had already tasted blood that evening, and with each word Duncan spoke, it was more likely it would yet taste more blood before the morning.

The Warden walked towards Aedan, closing the distance so that the younger man would have difficult using the blade. No fear appeared in the old man's eyes, to Aedan, they were dead and cold. "It does not matter now, what happened has happened, there is nothing more we could do."

The hand shot away from the handle, instead both now gripped Duncan's collar, moving before he could react. "IT MATTERS TO ME!" He didn't care if Howe's men could hear him roaring. "THEY WERE MY FAMILY!"

Throwing Aedan's arms away, Duncan looked at the boy. "As I said, it does not matter now." His rough, gnarled hands pointed towards the treeline, towards their destination. "We must get to Ostagar; the Darkspawn threat is growing stronger with each passing day."

"My family has been murdered and all you care about is the Darkspawn?"

Duncan had already begun to walk away, turning his back on Aedan as he spoke. "Your family is gone Aedan, you are a Grey Warden now. You would have to have severed ties with your family anyway to combat this Blight." He paused and looked back at Aedan. "I know it hurts but…"

The punch laid him flat before he could finish the sentence.

The blade was pointed at Duncan's throat, Aedan glaring at the Warden. "You don't know anything of my pain, you bastard! Get this through your head! I! DON'T! CARE! ABOUT! YOUR! BLIGHT!" The anger in Aedan flared for a moment before it died down, replaced by pain and grief. "All I want is Howe's head."

Pushing the blade away, Duncan rose to his feet, gingerly rubbing his jaw. "And you will have it after the Blight is over." Realising the suffering Aedan had been enduring, Duncan rested his hand on Aedan's shoulder, as he spoke one last time. "But that must be our first responsibility, remember why you are here. Now we must move."

Aedan Cousland watched as the Grey Warden walked away, leaving Highever Castle to burn behind them, his family with it. "No Duncan, I am here to honour a promise to my parents, to me you are as much a murderer as Rendon Howe. I will get justice for them, but after that, I am gone, Blight or no."


	17. Chapter 17

_I wonder what it is you dream of, Morrigan? Home? A new life? Our nights together?_ His hand brushed back some of the hair as it tumbled into his view. The darkness of the night still hung over the camp, just before the first rays of the morning sun crept into the clearing. He knew the party slept soundly, save for himself and Shale, as the Golem stood watch. Resting on his arm, Aedan watched the woman next to him slumbered, the Warden enjoying these few peaceful moments because the chaos of their quest descended upon them again. _Actually it would probably explain that cute smile she has when she sleeps._

Glancing through the tent, Aedan could sense the others would begin to stir in a few moments. Alistair would be the first to awaken, the Templar would stumble from his tent, stoking the warm embers of the fire as he would try to attempt to cook a rabbit again, and fail… again. Oghren would fall out of his tent, hung-over from his drinking games from the night before. And Zevran, the elf who had tried to kill the Wardens several months before, will still go towards the Dwarf and help him to his feet. In a different life, he might never have met any of these men, yet now, he considered each one a brother. _And what brothers have not tried to kill each other at one stage or another. Fergus chased after me for an entire day when I poured honey into his favourite boots, though to be fair, I was only five._

His thoughts turned towards his older brother, unsure of what had happened to Fergus at Ostagar. Did he still live? Was he injured? Had he heard what had happened in Highever? Could he forgive Aedan for what happened that night? _Fergus…I do not know where you are brother, but I will find you. I promise._

Across the campfire lay Leliana's tent, the Chantry sister from Lothering, with her own secrets. He had occasionally seen the Bard's looking at him with a desire that still surprised him. All throughout his younger years and his life as an adult Aedan had been told he was handsome, capable of breaking the hearts of many a young maiden. He had never believed it but still… _Leliana. She is truly a friend, and I know she wishes that we were more, but… I just cannot believe in the Maker in the same way that she does. I've lost good friends in His name for any of it to make sense anymore. And there is someone else in my life._

Further away was Wynne's tent, the elder mage from the Circle of Magi, she had recently joined the party after their efforts helped free the magi from the demons unleashed by Loghain's lackey, Uldred. Stern? Yes. Helpful? Certainly. Prone to involving herself in other people's problems? Most definitely. _Wynne, ah Wynne, always with a word of advice… and expecting us to take her word for it to be the absolute truth in any matter. Sorry Wynne, but I learned some time ago that you cannot live another person's life for them, they have to make their own mistakes._

His hands rubbed his eyes as Aedan lay back in the tent, staring at the fabric above him, thoughts of the world rushing towards him. _I know I've made a few mistakes in my life, and I know I've done a lot of things that I wish I could take back. But I honestly don't know what I've done to deserve her, all I know is that whatever it was, it couldn't have been enough. I don't know what it is about Morrigan, but when I see her, I feel peace._

Turning onto his side, Aedan looked at the woman lying next to him, her hair loose and free, the black hair framing and contrasting her skin, like alabaster. He wanted to reach out, to hold her close to his body, but let her be. _Let her sleep; let her have these few moments of peace. When I'm with her I feel like that life still matters, that my life still matters, that it is worth fighting to keep safe. She might be the most abrasive person I have ever met, but I know that a life such as hers has caused her to shield herself from pain by whatever means necessary. I do the same; I just try to hide behind humour and sarcasm._

_Damn it! This shouldn't have happened! I was ready to leave the Wardens at Ostagar, before Loghain left Cailan to die. I wasn't even a proper Grey Warden, Alistair was the true Warden. Yet here I am, the fate of Ferelden in my hands. I never wanted this! I never wanted to be a Grey Warden! I had dreams, I wanted to settle down, find a girl, and raise a family._

_And those dreams died._

_And now I have to raise an army, defeat two traitors, stop a civil war and to top it off I have to find some way to kill an Archdemon. Why? Why should it fall to me to do this? I never wanted this, I didn't want to be any kind of hero. I just wanted to be with my family. I wanted to teach Oren to be an archer, the proper way to use a shield. I wanted him to have some cousins one day._

_Damn it! Why did I have to fall in love? I was fully prepared to hunt down Howe and kill him, even if it cost me my life. So why is it when I look at Morrigan now, I feel as if my life is complete, that all the pain I have felt since my family died fades away? _

_She is a Witch, an apostate; she changes into the beasts of the wild and could start an argument in an empty room. Yet, I look at her and I know I would give my life to ensure she was safe. I don't care about the magic, or the manner in which she looks down on most of the world with disdain. I just see… her._

The Witch's body began to stir, the soft gold of her eyes betraying a hint of a smile as Morrigan awoke. "Hmmm, 'tis morning then?"

"Yes, I woke up just before you but it looks like it might be a good day today, so we might reach Redcliffe by this evening." He had lied of course, he had been awake most of the night, thinking, as he had always done, but right now Morrigan did not need to know that.

"Ever the Warden. Perhaps you can put aside the Blight for a few moments before the others disturb us." Her hands ran through his hair, pulling Aedan closer as their lips met, the passion between them rising as he caught the scent of her skin and her hair.

_I see pass the magic, the attitude, and I just see her._

Returning the kiss, Aedan wrapped his arms around the Witch of the Wilds, feeling happy in the peace they shared. "How can I refuse such an offer?"

_I see the woman I love._


	18. Chapter 18

"Alistair, may I ask you a question?" Her voice was tinged with nervousness and fear, as the bard gripped the short bow, training it on the corridor ahead, Alistair before her, Morrigan behind her and Aedan guarding the rear.

The former Templar braced himself, bringing his shield to bear, guarding himself and Leliana before answering the Bard. "Well, we are in the middle of a dungeon, possibly filled with armed guards who'll want to stop us from stopping Rendon Howe and from rescuing Anora, but alright, Leliana, what's your question?"

"Why are we here?"

A simple question, yet strange enough to raise Alistair's eyebrow, and enough to cause the young man to mull the question over in his mind before replying. "Well, Sten is too tall, Wynne is too old, Oghren is too short, Zevran is an elf and somehow I don't think Shale could carry off the guardsman look…."

He could feel Leliana glaring into the back of his head, silently cursing at him. "….You really are an idiot, you know this, correct?"

Shrugging to himself, Alistair turned and caught sight of the bard's annoyed stare and chuckled lightly. "So Morrigan has said on numerous occasions."

No sooner had her name was mentioned, the Witch of the Wilds brought her staff between the pair, glowering at Alistair with the same contempt she felt as the day the three encountered each other in the Korcari Wilds. Seething at the pair, Morrigan gritted her teeth and spat out in a hushed anger. "Do not bring me into this, fool, and that is what I call you. Fool. Calling you anything else would be a disservice to idiots everywhere."

Feigning injury, the Templar brought his hand to his heart, mockingly pleading with Morrigan. "Alright….ouch! You know, you're a very mean person and I…"

"Will you three shut up!"

The trio stood silent as Aedan barked at them and stormed passed them, swords in hand and a fire in his eyes.

"….Think we've annoyed Aedan…."

Almost immediately, Aedan turned and looked apologetically at the three, admonishing himself for lashing out. "I'm going on ahead, Alistair, with me…Please."

As the two Grey Wardens walked ahead, Leliana exchanged glances with Morrigan, speaking in a hushed manner. "I have never seen him like this."

"Nor I." The Witch watched as Aedan and Alistair crept to a corner, the Templar using his blade as a mirror to see what hid out of view.

By now Leliana was speaking to herself, ignorant of the fact that Morrigan was willing her to be quiet. "I suppose it is because of Arl Howe, if the rumours are true about what he did in Highever and to the…"

The mention of Aedan's home was enough for the Witch to rap Leliana on the forehead with her staff, breaking the bard's train of thought.

"Say no more of this, I tell you this now. Whatever happened is in the past, and that is where Aedan chooses to keep it."

Gingerly rubbing her head, Leliana stared daggers at Morrigan, angered for the rap, and annoyed for the childish treatment. "So you would just let him suffer alone and in silence? You don't fool me, Morrigan. I know you wish you could say something to comfort him."

"Let us move on. It would seem the Wardens have found something…."

The prisoner sat alone in the cell, his clothes dirtied, his face haggard and unshaven. Across from him sat an elf, worried and panicky as the four entered the chamber. As Leliana picked at the lock of the elf's cell, Aedan and Alistair crossed the room to the prisoner's cell. Standing before the door, the prisoner looked up and sneered at the guard uniforms, Vaughan Kendells spat at the pair.

"Oh joyous day, more of Howe's guards. Like I told you before I don't know why the bloody knife ears acted up and wait…."

Aedan's armoured gauntlet reached through the bars of the cell and knocked Vaughan against the wall, the Arl clutching his nose in pain as Alistair and Morrigan looked on, stunned, before Alistair regained his wits and stammered.

"You have such a way with people, Aedan."

"Aedan?" Vaughan's face shot up, his face contorted in rage. "You? COUSLAND! Maker's Breath, what does it take to kill you lot…Oh no."

The second punch landed with a sickening crunch as Aedan's fist connected with Vaughan's nose.

"My nose… You broke my nose!"

Grabbing the Arl's shirt, Aedan dragged him to his feet, pulling him to his level. In a voice that the others had rarely heard, bestial, and filled with anger, the Warden gripped Vaughan's throat. "I will do a lot more to you if you don't stop moaning and answer my questions."

"Fine. I don't know what happened to get the bloody knife ears so riled up. All I know is, Howe brought soldiers in and brought them under control. And I end up in my family's own dungeon!"

A swift pull against the cell door quietened Vaughan enough for Aedan to ask his one question.

"Where's Howe?"

Spitting blood now, Vaughan nodded towards the door of the chamber, his eyes filled with hatred for the man before him. "Probably in the main cell. He's looking for you, you know this?"

"Then he won't have to search far."

Throwing him back against the wall, Aedan turned and nodded to Leliana to let the elf go. Nodding his thanks, the elf scrambled out the door to safety. As Leliana re-joined the others, Vaughan began to eye up the bard, licking his lips. "Hmmm, not quite my taste, but you'd do in a pinch."

"Vaughan, mind your head on the bars."

"What?..."

In a flash Aedan had gripped Vaughan's shirt and pulled him against the bars of the cell door, knocking out the jailed noble. Almost immediately Alistair was spluttering with laughter, pointing at the unconscious form laying on the stone of the cell.

"Aedan, let me just say that normally I'd disapprove of that…Normally… Not now though."

"Forget him. Howe's nearby."


End file.
